When I Found Myself Overwhelmed by an Unexpected Roleplay

I married my husband fresh out of the military. We settled into our life in a small town with him as the only one working full-time, while I took care of our home and two young children. It was hard for me to admit it sometimes, but being a military spouse has been tough. The constant relocation, long stretches without my husband’s presence... it wears on you. As much as I love him, it can be lonely. One day, something changed inside me. There's this little bookstore near us that caters to kinks and curiosities of all kinds. One day, as my kids were at school, I walked in out of sheer curiosity. The owner had a collection of literature that felt like the beginning of an awakening. Amongst it was an old copy of 'Mommy's Little Boy' - a tale of mature adult dynamics. Reading this book stirred something inside me; a longing for control and protection that went beyond typical parenting or marriage roles. I started daydreaming about what that might look like in my life with my husband, but always kept it tucked away in the back of my mind as an odd fantasy, not something to act on. Then came the turning point: My husband was deployed again, leaving me alone more than usual. It was a night filled with loneliness and longing when I decided to write him an email detailing my daydreams - fantasies about playing out that 'Mommy' role in our relationship. To my surprise, he replied saying he would be open to exploring this together if we could keep it consensual, respectful, and only during the times when he was home. We had a few rough edges to smooth over first; mostly figuring out boundaries and what worked for both of us without stepping into territory that felt uncomfy. It's been an emotional journey. There are moments of joy and connection but also times where I feel judged, like maybe I'm not doing this right or should be ashamed. How do you know when it’s okay to explore your fantasies with a partner? And how do you find the balance between enjoying your private play and ensuring no one feels hurt in the process?