Shameful Secret

I've been married for ten years and my wife's deployment has left me feeling lost. Every night before bed, I find myself tucking her in as if she were a little girl, even though she's definitely not. It started with just reading her favorite childhood stories to help her sleep when she's home on leave. But lately... things have gotten more intense. Tonight was the worst — I slipped into my role so completely that I ended up punishing her for being out past curfew in a way that felt like corporal punishment from long ago, even though she's an adult and knows it's just play. It feels wrong but also strangely right to take on this parental role when we're both fully consenting adults. And yet the thought of her coming home next month terrifies me — I don't know how to be a normal husband anymore after this.