Coming to Terms with My Secret Kink

I've been in a monogamous relationship for about two years now. We're both 18+. At the beginning of our relationship, I knew there was this dark little secret I wasn't ready to share with anyone. As much as I tried to push it aside and pretend like it didn't exist, it's always been there in the back of my mind, lurking just under the surface. The kink that has haunted me is a dominant one, more than that, it involves a level of control over someone else's life that terrifies me. I have fantasies where I'm the master and she's the submissive, but these aren't your typical roleplay scenarios. The intensity scares me. It's not something I'd ever force onto my partner; we've talked about some light bondage, but it never went beyond that. It started to surface during a particularly stressful period at work. There were days when all I wanted was to come home and just take charge, decide what she would wear, how she would behave, down to the smallest detail of her life. It's this overpowering need to control every aspect of someone else's existence that gives me chills. I know it's wrong. The thought of actually doing something like this sends shivers up my spine and brings tears to my eyes because I'm scared of how much I want it, and more importantly, I fear the consequences if she ever finds out. For now, I keep a lid on these feelings whenever we're together. But when alone, they swirl around inside me like an endless storm, leaving me feeling empty and broken. The only way to cope is by writing this down and trying to understand why this side of me exists at all.