A Caregiver's Guilt

I've been working as a retail worker for the past three years. To make ends meet and save some money, I started taking care of an elderly neighbor who needed help with her daily activities around six months ago. She's in her late seventies but has a lot of energy, and we get along really well. She’s like a surrogate grandma to me now, even if she isn't my actual family. I have been entrusted with the responsibility of ensuring she takes her medications every day on time. There are three different bottles, and each one needs to be taken at specific intervals throughout the day, morning, afternoon, and night. I know missing just one could cause serious problems for her health, so it's something that has always felt like a huge weight on my shoulders. On Saturday evening, we were getting ready to watch some old movies she loves. She asked me to check her meds to make sure everything was in order before bedtime since the next day is Sunday and a bit hectic with family visits. I checked the morning bottle, which had already been taken earlier that morning by both of us together, but somehow, my mind drifted, and I didn't notice the afternoon pills. The following morning, I noticed what I’d missed when looking through her pill organizer to prepare for lunchtime medication intake. At first, I panicked thinking she'd be in terrible shape because of this mistake, but thankfully, after discussing it with her doctor (who assured me that missing one dose once is okay as long as the next ones are taken on time), she was fine. However, despite being told it was alright and knowing she didn’t come to any harm from my carelessness, I still feel terrible about it. It's like a part of me betrayed her trust by forgetting something so important when I’m supposed to be there for her unconditionally as a caregiver. She's vulnerable enough without adding another thing that could stress her out. I've been overthinking this mistake ever since, replaying the moment in my head where I missed checking those pills and wondering if it might have been worse than what actually happened. There's an unshakable sense of guilt gnawing away at me, even though no real harm was done. It’s just hard to shake off the feeling that I failed somehow. This small slip-up made me realize how much pressure there is in this role and how easy it can be for things to go wrong when you’re not entirely focused on your responsibilities. Even as a caregiver, sometimes we need caregivers too.