A Caregiver's Afterthoughts

So, I've been this weird nonbinary caregiver thing for a while now. No labels or anything fancy like that, just someone who takes care of another adult and helps them out when they need it. Anyway, yesterday was one of those days where things got... intense, if you know what I mean. You know how sometimes everything is fine until suddenly there's a moment? Yeah, that happened. It started off pretty normal, I made breakfast and we chatted about nothing important. But then, we ended up in the living room with some music playing softly. And things just sort of... shifted, you could say. Not that I'm complaining or anything. It was all consensual, obviously. We had a chat beforehand about boundaries and what each other wanted. Anyway, after it's done (if you can call it 'done'), we end up sitting on the couch together feeling kind of goofy but also really connected in this weird way that only happens when two people let down their guard completely like that. It made me think a lot about why I do this and what it means to both of us. Sometimes, you know, I wonder if it's all just some strange adult game we're playing out because we can and because it feels good. Or maybe it's something deeper? Who knows, I'm still figuring that part out myself. But yeah, those moments where everything aligns perfectly for a bit, that's what keeps me coming back. And then I got distracted thinking about how much more productive the day would be if only we hadn't had to start with an hour of cleaning up after... you know what happened. Oh well, it was worth it.