Lost My Innocence Too Soon

I ended my long-term relationship last week and am still trying to adjust to being single again. We'd been together for five years and I was so sure it would end up being 'the one'. But we just grew apart, mostly due to his resistance towards my kinkier side. It's hard now to balance dating while also exploring these desires that he couldn't understand or accept. Last night, in a moment of deep loneliness, I reached out to an online friend from a kinky community site who knew about me and offered casual hookups. He was willing to play along with my fantasies but there was something so sterile about it. We didn’t really know each other well enough for the emotional connection that usually accompanies these scenes. It felt like more of a transaction, which left me feeling even more alone than before.