The Weight of Expectations

I'm a first-year law student in my early twenties, but the moment I step into this relationship with Alex, I become his Daddy. It's a role that comes naturally to me, I like having control and guiding someone, especially when they're struggling. But lately, it's been wearing on me. Alex came to me seeking stability after a tumultuous breakup. He was in his late twenties too but seemed much younger emotionally. We established a D/s dynamic where I took care of him, financially and emotionally. Initially, it felt good, giving Alex the structure he needed made me feel like I was doing something meaningful. The trouble started when my own personal life began to crumble around me. My grades weren't where they should be, my health suffered from lack of sleep, and my relationships outside this one were nonexistent. All while playing the role of a nurturing, responsible Daddy 24/7. It felt like I was living a double life, I was struggling with everything in real life but had to pretend I was perfect for Alex. The tension built until it finally snapped during a session last week. We were working through some issues he's having at work, he's feeling stuck and wants more direction. He needs my guidance, support, and advice. But as we talked, I couldn't help but feel frustrated because I know exactly how he feels, I'm stuck too. In the heat of the moment, I snapped. I raised my voice when I shouldn't have, made demands about his life that weren’t fair to impose. He took it hard, breaking down into tears and begging for forgiveness. I was horrified, this wasn’t what Daddy is supposed to be like. We talked afterward. I explained how overwhelmed I felt, admitting I needed a break from being the rock he leans on. It's not that I regret our arrangement, it’s just too much at this moment in my life. We’re figuring out a way forward but it’s tough knowing we both need each other so desperately. This confession is me processing what happened and why, no one asked for advice or anything like that, just venting to get it off my chest.