Wondering About Myself...

I'm in my fifties now, and I've always had an analytical mind. Recently though, something feels different... There are times when I crave the role of a little, a sense of dependence on someone else that's both thrilling and comforting. Other days, I find myself wanting to be more protective and nurturing towards others who choose me as their caregiver. It's not just about roles or power dynamics; it’s this internal switch that flips between needing care and wanting to give it. Both feel fulfilling yet puzzling... Am I the only one who experiences such a duality? Is there some deeper psychological reason for why these contrasting desires are so intertwined within me? Any insights from anyone else who understands similar cravings would be greatly appreciated...