Exploring Boundaries and Limits

I've been with Alex for about a year now. We started off as friends, but something shifted when I agreed to help take care of him during his recovery from a bad injury. It's not just the physical side, changing bandages, managing pain meds, that draws me in; it's also this strange desire to control and protect him like he’s my own responsibility. He lets me take charge, even dressing up as a little boy for our playtime sessions. Lately though, I've been wrestling with why exactly I'm so compelled by the idea of having full authority over Alex. It feels good to dictate what he wears, how he acts. But there's this underlying tension too, am I just playing out fantasies or is there something deeper here about trust and power dynamics? One night, we pushed our limits further than ever before; I can still feel the burn from where I swatted him lightly for playacting naughty behavior. He never resists my rules, always responds with a soft 'Yes, Sir' that sends a jolt through me. Our sessions leave us both breathless and exhilarated. It's intense, confusing, but utterly captivating.