i did something i never thought possible

so like last week at work this new guy starts and he's really cute and sweet but also kinda intense looking you know? we all get to talking and it turns out hes actually super interested in what i do on my days off which is...well its a bit of a thing but not illegal or anything. anyway long story short we start hanging out after work and stuff gets kinda heated real quick. before i knew it we were at his place and he wanted me to play the role i do sometimes for him, you know? at first i was like no way hes just being flirty but then he pulls this really tender look on me and its like all my defenses melt. i end up saying yes and well lets just say things got pretty intense after that. it felt so real and powerful, not even sure if i want to do this again or stop now. anyway hope im not the asshole here cause honestly i feel pretty conflicted about everything.