secret desires

i was hanging out with my roommates and we got a bit tipsy one night. we started talking about our kinks and i could feel myself getting really embarrassed but also kinda turned on as they shared their stuff. finally it came to me and i felt so exposed admitting even to myself what turns me on. i like this older guy in my history class, he's eighteen plus, and i've been thinking a lot lately about submitting to him, letting him be in control and give me orders and maybe even some punishment if i mess up or something. it feels really wrong but also kinda right at the same time.