Secret Discipline Sessions

I never thought I'd be this person, someone who secretly disciplines their partner in these intense sessions. It started as a joke between us, but it quickly turned into something more serious. We're both adults, fully consenting to everything we do, yet there's always this nagging voice at the back of my mind questioning whether what we have is healthy or just plain wrong. I remember one session vividly; I was so caught up in the moment that I forgot myself completely. The way she looked up at me with those big, wide eyes, pleading for forgiveness even though she hadn't really done anything to deserve punishment, it was intoxicating and scary all at once. She called me 'Daddy' during these sessions, but it felt more like a character we both played rather than something rooted in our real relationship. It's strange because I've always prided myself on being rational and logical, staying away from things that could cloud my judgment or lead to questionable ethics. But here I am, unable to explain why I continue this ritual despite the guilt gnawing at me every day. I guess what I'm trying to say is, even though I fully consent to it, there's a part of me wondering if I should stop because it doesn't feel right, not really. Maybe that's just another layer of the game, letting myself question everything and finding my own answers in the process.