...A Divided Heart...

So yeah, I'll keep it real here because why not. Just turned thirty-five and got hit with the divorce hammer last month from my husband of ten years. We're both still in shock but trying to stay respectful for the kids' sake... Anyway, this whole thing has me questioning a lot about myself and my new single life. I mean, I love them all so much, don't get me wrong, but ever since things fell apart, I've been...curious? Diving into some mommy roleplay stuff with strangers online to feel close again, ya know what I'm sayin'? It's weird because on one hand, it feels good and exciting, but then the other side of my brain is all like 'is this normal?' I swear I don't want anything to go too far in real life, just some kink exploration...but even still. Am I being selfish? Should I feel guilty about it when I have my kids at home? What if they find out one day and think mom was cheating or something? Help!