My Secret Shame

I’ve only recently realized that I’m into DDLG/kink dynamics with my partner. It’s been this secret part of me for a while now, but admitting it to myself feels like a big step forward and backward all at once. When we first started experimenting a few months ago, I felt both exhilarated and mortified, it was like a forbidden door had opened in my mind that I couldn’t close again. We’ve kept things vague so far, kind of figuring out where the line is for each other without getting too graphic or specific. It’s scary because it feels wrong to even be thinking these thoughts, let alone acting on them, but denying myself this pleasure has been torture. My partner and I are both adults in our thirties, but sometimes when we’re intimate like this, I feel a strange sense of regression that I can’t explain or understand. I want more, crave it almost, yet the idea terrifies me too. How do I tell him without scaring him off? Is there something wrong with me for wanting this?