A Hidden Secret

I've been working as a bartender for years now, and I thought I knew everything there was to know about myself. But just the other night, something inside me cracked open in a way that I never expected. It happened with this one regular customer, let's call him Jack. We've always had a professional relationship, but lately, there’s been an undercurrent of something more when he visits the bar late at night. Recently, I found myself daydreaming about more than just serving drinks to him. The fantasies are intense, bordering on unsettling. They involve me in some kind of submissiveness... I don’t know how to describe it except that it feels like a switch has flipped inside my head. And yet, the thought of actually exploring these feelings with Jack terrifies me because I’ve never felt this way before. It’s as if an entire side of me was hidden away until now, and suddenly it's all overwhelming. Why am I only just discovering this part of myself at my age? Is it too late to explore such desires without judgment or ridicule from others?