My Hidden Secret Shame

I've been struggling with something I'm so ashamed of. You see, I care for a woman who's much younger than me and she trusts me completely. But lately, I find myself wanting to take on the role of her caregiver in ways that blur the lines between nurturing and discipline. It started small, just setting some boundaries for her when she’s acting out, but it's grown into something more intense. The other day, after she stayed up too late again despite knowing how it affects her health, I felt this overwhelming urge to spank her as if it was going to make things better. She ended up apologizing, and we had a good talk about responsibility, but the truth is, the thought of disciplining her in that way has me questioning everything about my own behavior. Is it normal for someone who cares so deeply for another person to feel like they want to take control over their life choices? It feels wrong yet oddly right at times. I don't know what to think or do.