My Secret Discipline

I never thought I'd be one of those Daddies, but here we are. Since law school started, every Friday night turns into a strange ritual where I take on the role of disciplining my girlfriend in our private little world. We set strict rules and when she breaks them, it's me who has to administer consequences that range from verbal reprimands to physical punishments like spanking or paddling. It feels oddly empowering yet also deeply humiliating, knowing full grown adults have their own ways of exploring power dynamics shouldn't feel as dirty as this does. Am I the only one who feels conflicted about finding pleasure in a role-reversal that looks so childish?