secret desires

i dont really know how to say this but i've been feeling pretty lonely lately. like there's always something missing in my life and the only way i can feel close to someone is through these weird fantasies. one night i was drawing and just let myself imagine all of it, the scenes with strangers, the ones where im totally submissive. it felt good, better than anything real has made me feel in a long time but also scary because its not like i want to act on it or anything. i mean, i dont even know anyone who would. i guess i just needed someone else to hear these things, even if they'll never know it's me.