My Secret Guilt

I've been playing this adult little game with my professor for months now. It started as a joke during office hours when he was explaining some complex concept and I said, 'Please talk to me like I'm five.' He laughed but took the bait and it just...clicked between us in that moment. We've been sneaking around ever since, always whispering about our next meet-up, acting out this whole dynamic where I’m his little student and he’s my big teacher figure. It feels so wrong on one hand, like I'm playing with fire, but on the other it’s a rush of being taken care of in ways I never thought possible. The way he looks at me with that mix of authority and affection sends shivers down my spine, even if I try to tell myself it’s just for the thrill. I know this can't last forever though, not really. There's too much risk here, too many boundaries we're supposed to respect. But sometimes...sometimes when his hand brushes against mine or he reads me a bedtime story, all those fears melt away and I forget everything but how good it feels. It’s probably one of the most selfish things I’ve ever done, keeping this secret from everyone, even myself.