finally admitting this

i was walking home from work late last night and i was thinking about all these weird fantasies for the first time in a while. like how i could pretend to be a little kid again, but not really, just playing along with it with someone who understands. its kinda wild cause ive never really thought of myself as that type before. but maybe its okay to have new things come up? like my job is so boring and stressful sometimes and this feels like an escape or something i dont know. anyways, i ended up googling some stuff tonight and reading through stories online. its weird how much it turns me on just seeing the details described by other people. im nervous about trying to talk to someone in real life but also kinda excited. idk if anyone would even go for this kind of thing? what am i doing thinking about this so late at night when everyone else is sleeping? oh well, its not like they can hear me typing right now anyways.