My Secret Sin as a Daddy Artist

I never thought I'd admit this aloud, let alone in writing. I'm an artist with a pretty established following for my abstract works, but there's this other side of me that's been eating at me lately. You see, I've found myself drawn into something I never expected, I've started Daddy play with some younger men online. The idea of taking on the role of a father figure and disciplining them in a way that's consensual yet strict has become an obsession for me. It's like this dark part of my personality that emerges when I'm creating, almost as if the paintbrush brings out something primal within me. But it feels wrong somehow, like I've betrayed myself and everything I stand for as an artist. And yet, there’s a thrill in it, an edge that makes my art feel more vibrant, more alive. It's this double life that haunts me though, I know what I'm doing isn't illegal or harmful to anyone involved, but the shame is crushing. How could I have let myself cross this line? This confession is just for me, a way to acknowledge it and maybe find some clarity on why it all feels so messed up.