A Moment of Weakness at Work

I'm not sure why I did it. My life feels so mundane right now, same old office routine, same old chores when I get home, and maybe that's exactly what pushed me to seek out something different during my lunch break today. There was this new DDLG group on a social app for adults over eighteen, and there they were posting about their play sessions. It looked so exciting, so thrilling compared to the drabness of my existence. I know it sounds pathetic, but I found myself reaching out to someone I saw had just started an age-play post, someone who said she was into being a Mommy for her Daddy. I felt such shame as soon as I hit send on that first message. But then he replied, and before long we were planning to meet up in a quiet spot at the park nearby for our 'play'. He even sent me a set of pajamas to wear, soft, pink ones with hearts on them, that made my heart flutter when they arrived. When we met, I couldn't help but slip into the role he wanted me to play. It was like stepping into another world, a comforting one where I didn't have to think about bills or deadlines. But after a few minutes of playful scolding and some light spanking, there came an undeniable rush of pleasure that felt so wrong in my mid-thirties. He was gentle, but firm, reminding me to be more respectful of the rules he set for our little game. I left feeling confused and ashamed. Is this what people mean when they talk about being addicted to DDLG play? It's like a secret addiction, something no one can know about unless you confess it here.