An Unspoken Secret

For as long as I can remember, there's been this part of me that feels deeply ashamed to confess. As a professor in my 50s who takes on the role of a Mommy in DDLG dynamics with adult partners, it's something I've kept hidden from everyone around me. It started innocently enough, exploring a nurturing side with friends who were just as curious and consenting adults. Over time, I found myself drawn to that space more deeply, taking on responsibilities and disciplinary roles that mirrored the maternal figure I've always admired but never fully understood until now. The intimacy of these encounters goes beyond typical adult relationships; there's a profound connection and understanding that comes with caring for someone as an authority figure who also serves as a guide and protector. It sounds so simple when I think about it this way, but every time I try to speak out loud or even write more explicitly, my hands shake and the words catch in my throat. This is all consensual and between adults 18+, of course, yet there's something about being seen in such a vulnerable light that makes me feel both liberated and terrified at the same time.