figuring out this oddity

hey guys, i've been thinking a lot lately and i feel like i need to share something that's kinda weird. i'm in my fifties now and i think it's fair to say that for the past few years, there's been this... urge, this craving almost, inside me that keeps growing stronger. it started so subtly, just this feeling of wanting someone to look after me more like a kid would, or maybe even to be treated like one sometimes. i'm talking about stuff like getting punished for not cleaning my room properly or having my bedtime enforced. at first, i pushed these thoughts away, thinking they were just some old childhood memory resurfacing or something, but now it feels bigger than that. so here's the thing, as a grown adult in my 50s, why am i suddenly getting this pull towards being taken care of like a child would? is it because i've been doing too much for myself and everyone else my whole life and now i just want to let go and have someone else be in charge? or maybe it's just some weird new phase as one gets older. anyway, it's kinda freaking me out but also... exciting somehow. i never acted on any of these feelings until recently though - just a few weeks ago i met this really nice person online who shared similar interests and we started talking about the dynamics i mentioned earlier in hushed tones and vague terms. turns out they actually wanted to explore some of this stuff too which made me feel both shocked and oddly relieved. right now, all these thoughts are swirling around my head and i don't know what any of it means or where it's going. i'm writing this mostly for myself, trying to figure things out and maybe just getting it off my chest before i go further with anything else. anyone have any ideas? am i totally losing my mind here?