...Sometimes I Feel Like...

I've been married for twenty years now, Sarah and me. We've built a life that most people would envy - two kids in college, a nice house on the edge of town... but lately? Lately, it feels like everything has grown stale. The spark is gone. And yeah, there's that part where we both know what each other likes in bed, no surprises anymore. But then there are days I just... want to be told what to do, be taken care of for a bit. It sounds silly, I guess, but after all these years, it feels like Sarah is my equal and not someone who could ever be... in charge. And that's where it gets complicated, because part of me really, really wants her to be in charge... just sometimes. So last month, we tried something different - age play, she was my mother for a day. It wasn't the first time but this one felt more intense somehow. I remember lying there and feeling so young again, like a kid being scolded for coming home late or not cleaning my room... and it gave me such a weird mix of shame and pleasure. But also something else - longing? Sadness? Maybe just knowing that we can still surprise each other after all this time. But then afterward, everything went back to normal. And I've been thinking about it ever since, wondering if what we did was okay, or wrong somehow... Does anyone else have these feelings of wanting something different in their marriage even after so many years together? Is it just me feeling out of place and missing something that can't be found anymore? Sometimes when I look at her face as she's cooking dinner or helping the kids with homework, I think back to how young we both were when we got married. And it makes me feel old... but also lonely in a way I've never felt before. So if anyone out there feels like they can relate, or has advice for what I'm going through? It would mean more than you know.