My Secret Little Space

I’ve been feeling really ashamed lately and I can’t help but feel like there’s something seriously wrong with me. For the past few months, I’ve been getting into this thing where I play little. It started out as a way to cope with stress but it’s become more serious than that. So here's what happened: My partner Alex and I have been together for about two years now. We’re both in our twenties, nonbinary, and we mostly agree on the kind of relationship we want. But recently, Alex has started to explore DDLG dynamics with me, not because it’s something new they wanted to try but because they found out that I had some deep desires to regress and play little. It all started when I was really stressed about work and family stuff. I needed a way to escape it all, so I thought maybe if I acted like I was younger, the problems would feel smaller too. So one day, I just... changed my behavior completely. Became this silly, childish version of myself. It worked, Alex helped me with some of my issues by playing along and giving me the space I needed. But here’s the thing: it didn’t stop there. Now, we do this quite often. There are times when we both feel really good about it, but other days... well, today is one of those days where I’m just not sure if what I did was right or healthy. We were playing earlier and things got a bit intense. Alex had to correct me in front of some friends and while everyone seemed fine with it at the time, now I feel embarrassed and like maybe I overstepped. I don’t know how to handle this feeling. It’s not that we do anything too extreme or dangerous, just some spanking here and there as a form of discipline when things get out of hand. And even though everything is consensual and agreed upon, sometimes it feels like crossing an invisible line between play and real-life consequences. I think I’m more worried about how others perceive me now than what we’re actually doing together. But honestly, part of me also wonders if maybe this isn’t just a phase or something that’s okay for us as long as everyone is in the loop and comfortable with it. I don’t know though, talking to someone else feels so scary. So here I am, trying to figure out whether there's more shame to be had here than joy and comfort. It sounds ridiculous when you put it like that but...