hard to say

i admit i only just realized this about myself like a week ago. its weird because ive never really thought much about this stuff before but one night i was watching some weird submissiveservice porn and it hit me hard. i mean, dont get me wrong, im into that kinda thing with my husband but seeing someone in their 30s act like they were still a kid or something...it just got to me somehow. the idea of being disciplined or treated like i wasnt an adult...i mean, its just so taboo and weird right? but i found myself thinking about it later, wondering what it would be like to be in that position, you know? its embarrassing cuz im supposed to have this tough skin from working at a bar all night every night. but now im second guessing everything. maybe hes onto something with his idea of just being treated like a kid again sometimes...i dont know.