A Secret I've Kept Quietly Too Long

I never thought it would come to this. For years now, my heart has whispered things to me that the world could never understand, things about a younger self that's still inside me somewhere. Lately though, there’s been an overwhelming urge, a need almost, to embrace a side of myself I've kept hidden for so long. The last time it got this bad, I found myself curled up in my study late at night, dressed in nothing but a frilly nightgown and knee-high socks that reminded me too much of when I played pretend as a child with my dolls. It wasn't just the clothing, I felt every inch like the little girl inside who longed to be taken care of, to have someone guide her through life’s storms instead of always steering the ship on my own. And there it was, standing right outside that closed door, someone who understood without a word being said. The way he looked at me, with soft eyes and a gentle touch, it broke something open inside me. That night wasn’t just about giving in; it was about coming home to a part of myself I didn't know I could reclaim. And yet, here I am today, still grappling with what that means for who I choose to be moving forward.