Confused Little Adult

So here I am, a nonbinary person in my 20s, and somehow I ended up getting into this little-space thing with a much older dom. It's not like it started out as anything serious or planned, more of a playful experiment during one of those late-night chats where everyone's boundaries are blurred by exhaustion. But then it sorta... stuck? Like, we're still friends and everything is consensual, but suddenly I'm finding myself craving that feeling of being told what to do, of having these little moments where I can just let go and not worry about anything except following orders. It's weird though, because on one hand it feels incredibly freeing, you know? Like, getting a text from him saying 'bring me coffee in the morning' is more comforting than any other adult responsibility I have. On the other hand, every now and then I feel this nagging guilt about why I'm not out there being a fully independent grown-up instead of... well, being treated like one of his kids. Is this normal? Or am I just setting myself up for heartache by leaning into something that can't really be a relationship long-term? I mean, sure, it's fun and all, but is there more to life than just these little moments? Am I supposed to outgrow it eventually or...