Uncovering My Dark Desire

I've been in this DDLG dynamic with my partner for about six months now. At first, it was playful and fun, she'd dress up like a little girl and we'd play around at home. But over time, I found myself wanting more control, craving the feeling of being her strict Daddy figure. It's strange, because in everyday life, I'm not really an authoritarian type. Yet here, with her, something shifts inside me. Lately, our sessions have become more intense. Tonight was a real turning point, she wore that cute little nightie and I... well, I was the sternest I've ever been. My hand felt heavy on her bare bottom as I disciplined her for coming home late from a friend's place. Afterwards, we cuddled and talked it out, but there’s this lingering question: am I in love with being the dominant? Is she playing to my fetishes, or do they reflect deeper desires about how I relate to others? This dynamic is incredibly intimate yet also deeply unsettling, I feel like I'm peeling back layers of myself with each session.