Wish I Wasn't Alone Here

I don't know why it feels so wrong to admit this. Maybe because I never thought of myself as the kind of person who would, but a few weeks ago, I finally found myself slipping into that role, being taken care of by someone older and wiser. It's not like we're in any real relationship or anything; just an arrangement that feels...right for both of us. We don't talk about it much, and honestly, I kind of wish we did more often. There are nights when I feel so lonely, despite being held close by someone who cares about me in their own way. It's confusing, this mix of wanting to be needed and feeling like I'm just playing a part. Sometimes, when the world seems too big and scary, it's comforting to pretend everything is okay, even if it isn't. The hardest thing for me now is realizing how much I've come to depend on these moments, but also knowing that they're not enough. It's a lonely path, being who I am and what this makes me feel, but there's no going back once you start.