... Reflecting on New Realizations ...

Ever since I started law school, there's been this odd thing that pops up in my mind when the stress gets too much. It feels so liberating, like a rush of adrenaline and clarity all at once. When I'm deep in research or exams, I sometimes imagine myself as someone who needs guidance from an older figure... not exactly a teacher, but more along the lines of mentorship that crosses boundaries into something deeper, darker maybe? But it's my headspace alone; no one else knows. It makes me feel both mature and incredibly vulnerable, almost like the tables turn when I'm at my most unsure about law cases or contracts. I don't act on these urges, but it's a secret world that plays out only in my mind as an escape from academic pressures. Lately though, I find myself wondering if this is just another manifestation of stress or something more? Should I seek some form of guidance outside of the legal texts and case studies... maybe talk to someone about this adult kink? Is it common for people like me who are trying to navigate complex real-life responsibilities? It feels good to confess, even if anonymously. Any advice or insights would be appreciated.