The Caregiver's Conundrum

I've been with my partner for about two years now. We started as friends and the relationship gradually developed into something deeper. I'm in my twenties, nonbinary, and really enjoy taking care of people. My partner is a bit younger than me, and they've always appreciated the nurturing side of our dynamic. However, things took an unexpected turn recently when I realized that what I crave isn't just being a supportive presence but actually caring for them like one might with a child, in ways that feel deeply personal and physical. The other day we were watching a movie together and I noticed they looked exhausted from work. It was the kind of exhaustion where it's clear rest won’t fix everything, so I decided to give them a thorough pampering session. The way their body relaxed under my touch felt incredible, and there was this moment when our eyes met and I could see how much they trusted me. After that, I started thinking about what else might help them feel better or more cared for in intimate ways. It's not just about providing physical comfort though, it’s also the psychological safety of knowing someone is there to support you without judgment. This got me wondering: why do I find this so satisfying? Is it because it’s a role I’m comfortable with, or because I can give them something that fills a need they might feel lacking in other aspects of their life? The physical aspect really does matter too; being able to touch them, care for their body, even things like dressing them when they're feeling particularly vulnerable, gives me this surge of satisfaction. There’s a part of me that feels protective and caring towards them, but it also involves a deeper connection through intimate acts that might seem out of the ordinary. I’m not sure if I should bring up these thoughts with my partner or keep them to myself. It's one thing to feel this way, another to verbalize it, especially when there’s no clear 'label' for our dynamic like