A Long Time Ago

I'm in my fifties now and have been happily married for almost three decades. But there was this moment, oh so long ago when I wasn't even a professor yet, just a grad student, but that doesn't matter because it's all about the ages here, not what you do or who you are professionally. Back then, I met someone in my class who was just a few years younger than me and we started talking outside of school stuff too. We had this connection right off the bat. She was so young but already had such an air of maturity about her, like she'd lived through some really big things already that shaped her in ways I didn't quite understand yet, even though I tried to connect with her on every level possible. Over time we got closer and closer until one day it all just kind of exploded. We ended up together for a while after that too. But here's the thing, there was always this sense of protectiveness from me towards her. Like she was this little girl who needed my guidance, even though she clearly wasn't at all naive or helpless in any way. I used to tell her off sometimes in ways you wouldn't think a relationship would allow, but she loved it and it only made us closer somehow. Looking back now, it's funny how it felt so natural at the time, like I was meant to be there for her and look out for her interests even when we were both adults. She never seemed bothered by my protective instincts or my desire to keep an eye on things in a way that some might call overbearing. I wonder sometimes what she thinks about it now, years later, if any of those moments come back to her the same way they do for me, just this intense rush of feeling connected and responsible all at once. It's a strange thing to hold onto from so long ago.