Midlife Revelations and Curiosities

So, I'm a fifty-something professor of literature, with all the requisite gray hairs and glasses to prove it. In case you were wondering why I decided to spill this particular tea at my age, let's just say it’s because life in academia doesn’t come with a rulebook on kinky confessionals or unexpected desires that emerge out of nowhere. And yes, I said “emerge.” Because here we are: after five decades of being married to the same woman and teaching students about great literature (which often skirts the edges of what's taboo), I've found myself curious about something new, DDLG kink. It started when I was reading some student papers on contemporary fiction, with all its daring explorations into the darker side of relationships. As much as I tried to stay detached and scholarly, one paper in particular caught my attention, it delved into a character who, despite being in their late thirties like me back then (ahem, now), was drawn into an adult relationship where they explored this dynamic. Now, it’s not like I’m suddenly fantasizing about dungeons or anything that explicit. But there's something about the idea of stepping out of the role we've always played and trying on a different one that intrigues me. Like maybe if I could be less... professorial for once? So here I am, confessing to this particular fantasy, something so far removed from my usual existence it feels almost surreal to type these words. But is it just me who finds themselves drawn in new directions later in life? Or is there something a bit off about someone like me, at an age where society says you should be settled and comfortable with who you are? I guess what I'm really asking is: how common is this kind of curiosity among people my age, or those much younger? Am I the only one pondering such things while grading essays on Kafka late into the night? And if not, does that mean it's okay to explore something like this, or is it best left unspoken and unexplored? Please tell me what you think. Any advice for someone who's just realizing they've got a few more chapters of their story left in them?