A Boring Week's Solitude

I've been having one of those weeks where everything feels off. The routine at the office has me feeling like I'm just going through the motions, and my caregiver role is starting to feel more like a chore than something meaningful. Today, after work, instead of spending time with him as usual, I found myself sitting alone in my room, lost in thoughts from days past that I try not to revisit. He's been pushing me to take on more responsibilities, but it feels like we're drifting further apart. In a moment of weakness, I slipped back into old habits and sought comfort in age-play scenarios, pretending to be younger than 18+ for just a brief escape from reality. It was only a fantasy, nothing acted upon, but even the thought left me feeling dirty and disconnected from him. The real disconnect is starting to scare me.