feeling lost again

i moved out to start my freelance gig thinking i could finally be independent and do what i love. but it's lonely here all the time and no one knows me or cares about how hard i try. sometimes when i'm down, i play a little space with someone online who understands the adult lifestyle stuff. just pretendin' helps some nights. feels weird to confess this though. maybe if i keep at my work i'll get more clients and build something real here? but today it all felt so pointless