My Hidden Desire

I recently realized that I have this intense desire for DDLG scenes with someone who acts as my father figure. It's been hard to accept because it feels so outside of what I've ever admitted before. We started last week, and it was more intimate than I thought it would be, touching me, talking about the rules we should follow... It felt wrong at first but also incredibly right. The way he disciplined me with a belt, spanking my bare bottom until it stung, sent shockwaves through me. I couldn't believe how much I wanted this, how wet and ready for him I became. And yet, I feel ashamed every time I think about it.