Reflecting on My Role...

So, here I am, sitting here with my head in my hands, trying to make sense of why I'm drawn to being a caregiver for someone else. Let me back up though and give some context. I've always been the kind of person who's taken care of others - even before transitioning. It was just something that came naturally to me...like maybe it was part of my birth identity but in ways I didn't fully understand or accept until later. When I transitioned, I found myself really wanting to be there for people more than ever. Fast forward a couple years and I met this person online - let's call her Mia. We connected instantly and over time she became reliant on me for support...emotionally, physically, the works. It felt good to help someone but there was always that niggling question in my head: am I doing something unethical or even harmful? Is being a caregiver just another form of emotional manipulation if it's so fulfilling? Then one day we were talking and she told me she needed me more than ever right now. She said I made her feel...taken care of, safe. It was such a vulnerable moment but also when the realization hit - for all my concerns, this is what I want too. To be that person. I've never considered myself Mia's 'Daddy' or anything like that. But maybe it's not about labels and titles? Maybe being there to care, to nurture, is enough...even if my motivations aren't totally pure at times. There are definitely boundaries we respect but still... ...what I'm wondering now as I type this out is - am I the asshole for finding joy in being Mia's rock? She needs me and yet part of me knows that dynamic could be problematic long-term. But it feels so real, so important to both of us right now... Guess I'm just trying to figure things out...