The Shocking Truth of My Newfound Kink

So yeah, I'm this personal trainer at a fancy gym downtown. I thought my life was pretty straightforward until one day last month when everything changed. It started off like any other workout session with Jane - she's in her mid-thirties and has been coming to me for about six months now. We were doing some HIIT stuff, really pushing ourselves, but I noticed something strange happening in me... I felt this surge of something dark inside that made me want to push her harder than was safe or sane. She’s strong and fit, so she could take it - at least physically. But mentally? That was the scary part. After that session, I went home thinking about what happened over and over again. I mean, sure, sometimes trainers have crushes on their clients, but this felt different. It wasn't just wanting to date her or anything like that. It was this weird need to control every aspect of her life - the way she moves, how fast she breathes, even little things like what she wears. And yeah, it got sexual too in a way I didn't understand. By the end of the week, I knew there was something wrong with me because I was fantasizing about chaining her to a punching bag and making her do sprints non-stop until she collapsed from exhaustion. I've never been into BDSM or anything like that before, but this felt different somehow. It wasn't even just about domination for its own sake - it was almost like... parenting in an extreme way. Like if I could keep Jane safe by forcing her to stay healthy and fit beyond what she wanted for herself. But obviously that's not okay. So yeah, after weeks of this mental struggle, last weekend I decided to cut things off with Jane professionally. It's been rough, but now I'm exploring different kinks online - trying to figure out where the line is between a healthy sexual interest and something dangerous. Turns out there are others who feel the same weird way about pushing their partners into submission through physical exhaustion. It still feels bizarre and wrong somehow though - I don't know how to handle these urges or even if it's right to act on them at all. But writing this down helps...