Admitting My Secret Craving

I’ve been struggling with something I can’t seem to shake off for months now. It started small, flashes of images in my head, fleeting fantasies that would come and go without much thought. But as time passed, these daydreams became more vivid, more insistent. Every once in a while, when alone or feeling particularly vulnerable, I find myself drawn into scenarios where someone older is taking care of me. The idea of being under their control, even just in my mind, brings a strange comfort that I can’t explain. I’ve tried to brush it off as just a weird phase, maybe stress-induced?, but the more I deny it, the stronger these feelings grow. Lately, they’ve been too much to bear, so I admitted to myself this week that there’s something more significant happening here. It’s scary and confusing because on one hand, I’m an independent adult, but on another, part of me feels like I need someone to guide me, protect me. This revelation hasn’t brought any immediate relief, it only makes the loneliness worse.