Confused After The Breakup

I just broke up with my long-term partner and I've been feeling really lost. We were together for five years, but we decided it wasn't working out anymore. Now that we're apart, I'm realizing there are things about me that I didn't want to talk about before. Like... these fantasies. They started showing up in my mind more after he left. He never knew anything like this about me and I was too scared to tell him. I keep thinking back to a movie I saw last year, you know the one where the characters do some kind of role play? It's not that at all though, it's nothing like that... But then again maybe it is. The more I think about it, the less sure I am what these thoughts mean. I'm worried now if this means something dark or wrong about me. Or is everyone secretly into stuff like this but don't talk about it? Am I just weird for thinking of playing pretend to feel better? Should I tell a friend or someone? How do people even start with something like that? Is there somewhere safe to read more and figure out what these fantasies might mean for me? If anyone knows what any of this means, please let me know. I'm so confused right now.