shameful secret

i dont know why i do this but there are times when im a nurse at work and all the stress just piles up. one day after a really long shift i went home super tired but still had that urge to be taken care of like a little girl again. so i messaged my dominant friend from college who understands me better than anyone. hes older, has kids his age, but he gets it. we set a time and when he got there i felt so small in front of him. everything he said made me feel younger, more vulnerable than im used to feeling. the worst part is how good it feels even though its so wrong. afterwards i was ashamed of myself, wondering if anyone would ever see this side of me again. but now that i wrote it down im kinda glad i did.