...Just Trying to Figure It Out...

So yeah, this is my first time here. I'm still really new to the DDLG/kink scene and trying to figure out where I fit in and how all of it works. My story starts a few months back when I met this older woman online who was into daddy dom stuff. She's like twenty years older than me and, honestly, she's helped me so much just figuring out my own feelings about these things. We've been playing around with the idea for a while now but haven't really gone too far yet. Last week though...we took it to the next level. We agreed on some ground rules, made sure everything was consensual, and then she started acting like an authority figure in my life. She told me what to wear, how to act, stuff like that. It felt so strange at first but also kinda freeing? Like I didn't have to worry about making decisions all the time. There were moments where I just wanted her to be more strict and tell me exactly what to do...but then there were other times when I was frustrated with having less control over my own life. We had a big argument one night because she was disappointed in something I did. It's not like I didn't deserve it, but the way she talked down to me felt really harsh at first. But later on, it helped me see where I went wrong and how I could improve. Anyway...I'm just trying to figure out if this is right for me or not. Sometimes it feels so good and like what I need, other times it makes me feel kinda broken. It's complicated. Sorry if this post doesn't make sense...I guess that's kinda the point. Just letting steam off here.