My Secret and Shamed Desire

I've been teaching high school for over ten years now, always priding myself on being professional and by-the-book. But recently, I found out about this whole DDLG thing online, it's a roleplaying kink where an adult takes on the role of a strict teacher or parent to another adult who plays a child or student role. The idea horrified me at first; it seemed so taboo, so wrong, especially coming from someone like me who teaches kids every day. But then... I kept reading more about it and discovered there were others out there who felt this way too. They described feeling ashamed but also an intense attraction to the dynamic, the authoritative role mixed with care and control. And as much as I tried to push these thoughts away, part of me was drawn in. A few weeks ago, I finally admitted it to myself, deep down, I'm aroused by the idea of being that strict teacher figure in a consensual adult scene, demanding respect from another willing participant playing a student role. It's so far removed from my real life and professional ethics; I fear what this desire means about me as a person. But there's also a part of me fascinated by it all, imagining myself sternly correcting someone else's behavior in an adult setting. I'm ashamed to even be writing this confession, but the more time passes without acknowledging my true feelings, the heavier they feel inside me. So here I am, letting out a piece of who I am that I never thought would exist.