just felt right

so i met this guy online, older, kinda kinky stuff appealed to me. started off with some light age play, nothing major, just talking and messaging like we were in different stages of life. then things got a bit more intense, did some roleplaying that was really hot but left me feeling all kinds of emotions afterwards. didn't know if i was ready for the deeper stuff, so we kinda stepped back, talked it out, tried again later. now im single and still trying to figure everything out, what i want, how much control or guidance i need. its weird, sometimes feel like a kid when hes around but also very grown up at the same time. just confusing right now.