Petting Over Peanut Butter

I’m a little and my Master is very strict about rules. It’s been almost a year since we started our dynamic, where I play the part of his obedient young one and he plays the role of my responsible guardian. We both take it seriously, we have a list of house rules for when I’m in littledom, including things like not eating snacks before dinner unless given permission first. The reasoning is that if I can’t follow simple rules about food, how am I supposed to trust me with bigger responsibilities? Anyway, last week, something happened that was small but really got under my skin. We had an early dinner on a Tuesday evening because he needed to be out for work afterward, and the rule was clear: no snacking until breakfast unless we both agreed. But guess what? I ended up sneaking a spoonful of peanut butter right after lunch. I felt awful about it immediately. There’s something about breaking his rules that feels like betraying him even though he knows I’m human. It’s not that the rule is so strict, but more that I promised to be honest and true when we set up our DDLG relationship. So, naturally, after lunch when I saw that little jar of peanut butter staring back at me, curiosity got the better of me. Afterward, I felt this heavy knot in my stomach for the rest of the day. The guilt was so intense that it almost made it hard to focus on other things we needed to do. Even though he probably wouldn’t even notice, knowing myself as well as I do, skipping a chore or two just because I didn't want to face him felt like more proof that I wasn’t being as good as I wanted. And then tonight happened, dinner was over and it was my turn to clean up the dishes. He let me go ahead while he finished some emails. In one of those moments where you forget why you shouldn’t do something, I walked into the kitchen and found that jar empty. The thought popped in my head: “Well, he didn’t notice before.” But that’s the problem, isn’t it? It doesn't matter if he notices or not, I broke his trust. And now I’m stuck with this weird feeling of self-disappointment and shame. Maybe next time I’ll just skip it all together. Who am I kidding? That’s part of why I'm his little, to be honest about what I need, but also to face my shortcomings when they come up.