A Nurse's Secret Shame

I'm a mommy who works as a nurse in my late 30s. My day is filled with taking care of others, but at night, I find myself drawn to a darker side of play with someone close to me, an adult man I treat like my son. We explore discipline and age-play together, which brings us both pleasure despite the sorrow it sometimes evokes in me. It's our private world, kept secret because of how out of place these desires feel amidst my otherwise nurturing life.