grad little stuff

so i had this thing in grad school you know it was kind of a big deal cause i'd never really done anything like this before. we met at one of those study groups and she just looked so put together and smart but also there were these hints of vulnerability that made me curious. started out as casual chats, then one day she mentions her dad used to read to her when she was sick and it just clicked in my head like oh maybe this is something i could explore with the right person. i approached her carefully because grad school people can be weird about stuff like this but we ended up clicking super well. i mean we got into roleplaying as teacher/student which was a lot of fun but then one day she suggested we try a little dynamic and it kinda blew my mind but in a really good way. felt so safe and protected, like being taken care of when you're stressed or overwhelmed. it's hard to describe really cause it wasn't just about the physical stuff though that was amazing too. more about this feeling of connection and being able to let go completely which is rare these days you know? we did a few sessions over the semester, nothing huge but enough for me to feel like i had something special there. now im kinda in a place where i want to explore more but it feels weird without her cause grad school friends move on fast sometimes and im not sure if shes still interested or even around anymore.