Feeling Small and Guilty

I started my law school journey with high hopes of being disciplined and organized, but lately, I've found myself struggling with something small that feels monumental. Last week, I was meant to meet my dominant at a local café as part of our little-space play dynamic. She had set strict rules about where we would be and when. But after a particularly grueling day of lectures and exams, I just couldn't face going out. So instead, I texted her an excuse saying I needed to stay in and study more. Now, every time I think about it, I feel so small, like a disobedient child who let their parents down. The guilt is overwhelming because she trusted me to follow through, and I broke that trust for something as trivial as avoiding social interaction after a tough day. It's not about the physical or sexual aspects at all; it’s just this nagging feeling of failure that doesn't seem to go away.